Thursday, April 29, 2010

So Old School it Hurts

Jaison's earlier post got me thinking, if games trying way too hard to cater to morons is an issue, then is the opposite also an issue? I say yes. Case in point, I picked up Super Street Fighter 4 the other day, like capcom's good little bitch.

I've had a bit of experience with Street Fighter over the years, but I really started getting into it with SF 4. As I began to delve into the game mechanics, I realized just how ridiculous this shit is. I'm sorry, but fighting game mechanics and street fighter in particular are obtuse and archaic.

I'll probably get a lot of crap for this, but it needs to be said. Memorizing a chart of button combinations for each character is so stupid and unintuitive. Of course I'd know to rotate my joystick 360 degrees twice, THEN press all 3 punch buttons to do an Ultra! It's bad enough that they have 6 buttons just dedicated to the most basic of attacks. Then you have to start pressing two or three at once! Makes zero fucking sense. Of course if I punch and kick a guy at the same time I'll throw him! But I better light punch and kick otherwise it would be a focus attack! DURRRRR

But that's just the tip of the retarded iceburg. Certain moves combo with other moves for certain characters but NOT others? Why does someone else's move go through my move? Invincibility frames, the hell are those? There is so much going on behind the scenes here that you'd never know without reading about it online.

The same is true about Modern Warfare and Bad Company 2. You'll quickly find that the stat bars for all the weapons mean two things. Jack, and Shit. The descriptions for the perks are equally as helpful. "Do more damage" or "Take less damage" Yeah real fucking helpful you cocks. OF COURSE we'd know that putting a holographic sight on a FAL increases the damage enough to make it a 2 hit kill at any range! IT'S SO OBVIOUS!!

I could bitch about this all day. What was my point again? Oh yeah, making things too complicated is just as bad in it's own way. Also I am terrible at street fighter, bloo a bloo bloo!


  1. I find street fighter to be one of the more friendly fighting games when it comes to moves sets to remember.

    Good lord, you should check out Mortal Kombat vs DC and Soul Calibur for some insane button combination to remember. Good lord, don't even get me started with Tekkan button combination. I might has well try and remember the dictionary.

  2. Haha oh yeah, don't get me started on mortal kombat. I don't think Street Fighter is the worst but I think fighting games need to evolve a bit more.

    Blazblue has a good system. One light, medium and heavy attack, plus a drive which is a special ability unique to that character. You can map the other buttons each to a special attack.

    You can hit buttons to recover in the air, which stops people from knocking you down then hitting you when you try to get back up. You can also mash all your buttons to get a 1 time escape from any combo.