Monday, April 4, 2011

Biggest Gaming Lies

We've all been there. Whether it's a boss that you said you beat, or a game that you claimed to have played. We've all told some whoppers in our gaming careers. What better place than the internet to air our dirty laundry (or wear it, in my case). Let's take a moment to share our most shameful gaming lies.

I remember mine vividly. I was in second grade, it was recess time. A kid in my class was talking about this awesome game called Doom. I had seen pictures of it in magazines, but at the time we didn't have our own computer so the closest I had ever come was playing Wolfenstein on my cousin's PC. I thought this kid was super cool, and wanted him to like me. So I did what any intelligent 2nd grader would do. I lied my fucking ass off.

I told him I also had the game, and would ask him how to beat a random level. He would explain in detail and I would nod sagely. When he asked my opinion on certain weapons or enemies I would ask him for his thoughts, and then agree with them. The plan was flawless. We quickly became good friends, then best friends. We spent many days on the couch playing Super Nintendo. He even traded me Final Fantasy 3 for some magic cards.

Then one day toward the end of junior high, we had just finished a round of Golden Eye on his N64 when I remembered my shameful secret. I confessed that I hadn't actually played Doom and I just told him that so he would like me. He gasped and said he couldn't believe that our relationship was based on a lie. We both had a good laugh and went back to the game. We stopped being friends a couple weeks later, due to unrelated circumstances.

But to this day, I still wonder if they were really that unrelated. If you're reading this, Adam I'm sorry I lied to you about Doom.


  1. Doom? 2nd Grade? Wow, I feel old. When I was in 2nd Grade Zelda had just come out for the NES.

  2. Maybe it was third grade. Either way, you're old!

  3. No wonder I hate everything.

  4. Oh god I told so many damn lies in primary school to acquire friends.

    One I remember off the top of my head was around grade 5 (or something) we had JUST gotten a nintendo64 for christmas with banjo kazooie and in one of those "Write what you did on your holidays" essays we do when we come back from holidays I bullshitted about having 10+ games and I've beaten this and that already and I invited 10 imaginary friends from my street over to play pokemon stadium and goldeneye and Mariokart64. And I showed all my friends my essay and everyone wanted to come over to my house because I had 6 controllers right; but I kept saying no and then eventually my best friend came over and I just said someone robbed us and we only had 1 controller and 1 game left- Banjo Kazooie.