Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Playstation Plus

More like Playstation Minus AM I RIGHT???? LOLROLF

Anyway, it seems Sony has finally clued into the fact that there's money to be made by charging for things that used to be free. Why it took those geniuses this long, I'll never know. Perhaps it was because free online was the one thing they could lord over the 360 when they were getting their asses soundly kicked.

Now that things are looking up and a PS3 is actually a console people want to own, it's Nickle & Dime Time®! So what does your $49.99 per year subscription fee get you? Let's take a peeksee .

Full Game Trial - Play a game for up to an hour free, then buy it to unlock the rest! So this is only going to work with titles on their store...That limits it somewhat. What's available so far? Infamous....That game is like $20 now AND has a demo available. Whoop-de-doo~

Automatic Downloads - Downloads select demos, patches and firmware updates automatically, so you don’t have to think about it. Thank god, all this thinking was hurting my tiny reptile brain. Now my PS3 can brick my system AND download more shit I don't want, all by itself!

PS Store Discounts - Save money on stuff you’re buying anyway with discounts on games of up to 50%. I sure am glad for this 20% savings on Smash Cars and Hamster Ball, which I was totally going to buy anyway! I was also going to shove this roll of duct tape up my nose and fart the alphabet!! In case you can't tell I am being sarcastic.

Exclusive Offers - Access to select avatars, themes, and other items other folks can't get – at least not until long after you’ve been there, done that. So in other words, you get useless crap early that everyone else is going to get anyway if they wait a month.

Select Early Demos - There will be occasions where you will get early access to some demos before all the other common folk. That’s pretty sweet. Sorry, no it's actually not that sweet. Unless it's like GOD OF WAR 4 or some shit, people won't care that much.

Priority Beta Invitations - You’ll be the first to receive invitations on select Betas. This is actually pretty decent. Or it would be if betas were anything more than glorified demos these days. So this one is a little redundant.

So as you can see, you really aren't getting anything worth paying extra for. They said they are still looking at implementing voice chat. But they've been looking at doing that since the fucking console came out. How long does it take, guys?!

I'm no Michael Pachter, but I predict this will sell like the big smelly turd it is. They've made a critical miscalculation here. That being, the reason people pay for x-box live is because they have to. If you didn't need to pay to play your games online, 99% of people wouldn't pay for this extra shit. I know I have said that party chat alone is worth $5 a month to me, and that is true. It's worth it to not have to listen to and constantly mute all these fucking morons. I'd pay $15 if a man would go to their house and physically REMOVE their voicebox.

But for many people that play on live, that's not an issue. They fucking LOVE the fact that they can yap incessantly about their sweet headshot or how many bitches they've fucked, and some people will listen. God damn stupid bastards hurrrgh URGE TO KILL RISING!! Anyway, what was my point again? Oh yeah, Don't do drugs!

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