Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Don't Bet on Duke

I know I made a post some time ago about reserving judgement on Duke Nukem Forever until it actually comes out, and I still intend to...but things are not looking good as of now. The demo has been released for members of the "early access club" who bought Borderlands GOTY or pre-ordered Duke Nukem Forever.

I was a little leery of it after hearing lots of bad things about the demo, but I decided to go in with an open mind and see if I could have some fun with it...turns out I couldn't. This demo stinks. The movement is stiff and sluggish, the graphics are bad and the animations are laughable. Somehow the UI has actually gotten worse since Duke 3D. The humor seemed pretty forced, and there were a lot of one-liners recycled from the first game.

I have to give Gearbox credit for assuming control of this massive turd tanker ship and valiantly attempting to turn it into something vaguely entertaining. Randy Pitchford is taking a huge risk here, and is obviously doing so out of love for the franchise. But I have a feeling this is going to bite him in the ass. Everyone has high expectations for this game, and I predict critics are going to rip Duke Nukem Forever a new asshole.

If this game turns out to be anything more than thoroughly mediocre I will eat my Star Wars figurines, but for now I wouldn't bet on Duke.


  1. Oh no!..that's shitty news indeed. I mean I don't expect to be blown away by the game, but I do expect it to be decently playable.

    I also am a fan of gearbox and am thinking of getting it, just to support them. But if the game is that bad..I don't know...I just don't(runs off out in the streets crying)

  2. Hahaha lol "..rip Duke Nukem Forever a new asshole." lol and "If this game turns out to be anything more than thoroughly mediocre I will eat my Star Wars figurines."
    Fucking brilliant man, never really burst out laughing at a post but that was genius right their.
    When the guardian gives a game 2 star you do begin to wonder...