Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Become an Ace PS3 Hacker

With the dust finally starting to settle around the Geohot lawsuit and PSN security fiascoes, I figured now would be the perfect time to compile this handy step-by-step guide to becoming an uber leet ps3 hacker using what we have learned from all this. You can thank me later.

1. Use your real name as your screen name - Nothing throws those feds off your trail like the obvious. For example, if your name was Scott Johnson your hacker name would be Scotjohn. Genius.

2. Pick a noble cause to hide behind - "Remove Linux functionality from my PS3? Over my dead body, you pinko bastards!" Congratulations, now you are no longer a douchebag. You're a freedom fighter!

3. Claim you don't support piracy - Sure, it's the same as saying "I don't support theft, but I'm going to provide everyone with copies of keys to every jewelry store in town...on principle!" But you're a freedom fighter, dammit. You don't have time for petty logic.

4. Rip off the largest multinational corporation you can find - Nothing does more for your ego....*ahem* I mean cause than hitting those fat cats where it hurts. Right in the wallet! There's no way this could ever backfire.

5. Openly taunt said corporation - This will never, ever backfire. There's just no way. While you're at it, tell them you're willing to consider a job offer. Remember, you're the good guy here. They should be thanking you for teaching them the error of your ways.

6. Don't panic - WHAT!! A lawsuit?!? How could this have possibly happened?? It's ok, keep calm and ask for donations to cover all of your court costs.

7. Continue taunting - You're a big man. You won't be bullied by these suits. Now continue spending other people's money to keep yourself out of jail. It's the only noble thing to do in this situation.

8. Promise to never do it again - Place tail firmly between your legs. Slowly back out of the room and fade into obscurity. You were a just man living in an unjust time. The world simply isn't ready. Not yet.

*Bonus Step* - Decide that you aren't receiving enough credit for your work. Throw a huge cry-baby tantrum on your blog and leave the "hacking scene" for a few months. Repeat as needed.

1 comment:

  1. I'm stuck on pick a noble cause....I wanted to have save the seals..but then I remembered they are damn I'm at a loss.