Fuck Nature

This is why I litter.

Holy crap, it's just like Jurassic Park. Except instead of dinosaurs there are animals...So I guess it's just regular park.

Treyarch Bad Ass

Ever since copies of CoD Black Ops were leaked weeks ago, cheaters and fuckbags have been hard at work trying to ruin the game for everyone else. Today Treyarch responded to reports of hacks and glitches LIKE A BOSS.


This is going to be my one and only statement on this topic, so pay attention.

I got Twitbombed today from dozens of people the same 2 links. Some are people using old dashboards or old versions of the game. Others are claiming victory on old dev builds that don't even connect to the version of Xbox Live that you use. Others are reproducible issues that we will hotfix or patch just like we said we would. In essence, we likely know more about it than you do from watching a video on Vimeo or YouTube.

What many of these people want is to be Internet nerd famous. I'm not going to make them famous and you shouldn't either. Internet hysteria from normal people is exactly what they want and that's how many people reacted today. You gave them exactly what they want.

Given the opportunity, I'd personally wield the ban hammer for anyone who thinks he is clever by abusing any glitches. Good think I don't have the opportunity that often and we actually have a constructive, measured, and well-managed live ops team.

We said we would support the game. We are going to support it.

I've gone out of my way using my own limited, personal time to try and get to know about 8000 (and growing) as best I can. The last thing I want is for you to think that because I don't talk about it ... that we don't know or care about it. We didn't spend 2 years of our lives to toss it all in the trash in one day.

I thank all of you who sent in polite, constructive messages without the hysterics.

So here is my one and only public statement about it.

I'm not going to talk about it publicly. We are disinterested in making mini-celebrities out of douche-bags. You better think twice before you glitch. You never know who in your game doesn't like glitchers who reports you and saves the game in their File Share and tells us about it.

Our forum admins and VIPs along with JD_2020 (Community Manager) will be managing the communication directly.

David 'Vahn' Vonderhaar

Homefront...of Duty?

I had already written off the upcoming Homefront from Kaos studio as another shitty Modern Warfare rip-off, so naturally this trailer surprised me.

I can totally get behind what this guy is talking about. A game that focuses on civilians in the middle of a military conflict could be awesome. Sort of like the last 30 mins of Children of Men. Using stealth to avoid patrols and rig traps for unsuspecting soldiers. I am hella ready for this!

Unfortunately it's like what he's talking about and the game they are showing are completely different things. So you are not a super soldier...oh but you are a pilot who can fly military choppers. Ok. Also you're able to use high tech military equipment stolen from Koreans. I guess so? Aaand basically the game plays exactly like Call of Duty. Ok I think we're done here. Sorry guys, thanks for trying I guess.

More Fun Than The Real Thing

Wii vs Playstation Move

I know there's more to the equation than this, but it's still pretty hilarious.

Guy Really Likes Pokemon

*Warning For Swears and General Bad Language - Do Not Watch At Work*

New Vegas Classifieds

Couresty of SomethingAwful.

In Loving Memory: Johnny Turbo

These days everywhere you turn you're bombarded with images of blue hedgehogs and jolly Italian plumbers. But who really remembers Johnny Turbo, the mascot of the ill-fated TurboDuo? Gone before his time was this fat superhero with a sideways baseball cap, goofy glasses and unkempt beard.

The story of Johnny Turbo really is a tragic one and you can read all about it here. While Sonic was spending his time collecting rings and Mario was rescuing princesses, Johnny would show up wherever FEKA (SEGA) was selling their CD add-on, flip out then talk shit about the Sega CD for a while before chasing them away. Like a big fat drunken Glenn Beck.

I honestly have no idea why these ads failed.

Next Tuesday!

Get hype! Big props for using Rolling Stones in the trailer instead of Eminem. I already have a good feeling about this one.