VIRTUAL BAAAART!
That opening sound clip is forever lodged in my brain like so many crayola crayons. When I was a kid we didn't get many new games, so when you got one for Christmas it was a pretty big deal. One year my mom got us a copy of Virtual Bart for Sega. I heard the sega version is worse than the SNES version, but honestly regardless of console this game is a big smelly turd.
The game starts with Bart going to a science fair and climbing into some experimental Virtual Reality machine, because virtual reality was actually cool in the 90's. He becomes trapped inside, and has to conquer a bunch of virtual worlds to stop the machine and gain his freedom. Sounds really good in theory, but then so does communism.
Basically it plays out like a big minigame collection, with nothing connecting the various games. I have no problem with Simpsons minigames, except that these ones all blow farts out of an asshole. There are a couple platforming ones including a Dinosaur one and one where you play as a pig trying to escape from Krusty's pork factory. The controls work decently, but the levels are boring to look at and frustrating to play. I never actually beat either of them because I always got confused where to go and gave up.There's one where you play as baby Bart which actually shows a little creativity, but in the end it's also pretty difficult and frustrating. There's one game that's supposed to be a parody of Mad Max where you race on a dirt bike through the wasteland. It's actually pretty fun and not overly difficult. It's one of the less shitty of the games, even if it is just a rip-off of Road Rash. The other decent game is the one where you fling tomatoes at your classmates as they walk across the screen. In retrospect it's pretty boring and shallow, but maybe the feces-fest that was the rest of the game made it seem fun in comparison.
By far the worst of them all has to be the waterslide level though. What a piece of dog crapping anus shit. You slide back and forth down a tunnel, dodging hundreds of the same repeating enemies while collecting life and clock icons. Every so often the path forks and the game gives you no indication which is the right way. Guess wrong and you run into Homer's butt, or fly out the end and die. It's so stupid and arbitrary, even as a kid I thought it was a load of fucking butt juice.
After watching some videos on youtube, apparently you're supposed to PAUSE the game, and look at the tiny bar up top for a red dot to tell you the right way. Yeah great fucking game design you geniuses. How would a kid EVER think to do that?! This game is such shit and it was even more disappointing to me than Aliens vs Predator on SNES. Watch this video complete with awkward announcer to see what I mean.
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