Hard Reset

No, not the thing Jaison's computer does every five minutes. I'm talking about the new FPS coming this September from Flying Hog Wild Studio. These guys are mostly veterans from a few other Polish studios (People Can Fly, for one) so I am hoping it will be good. The trailer looks promising anyway.

Or as I like to call it, "Giant Robot Shoot Electricity 2: Return of Blood Face"

Deus Ex 3 isn't Sexist

Well thank god for that.

3DS Getting Price Cut

That's right, in the month of August we'll see the 3DS price drop from $250 USD to $170 USD. Such a big drop so early in the handheld's lifespan is pretty unheard of. I can't say it's unwarranted though. It's not like these things were flying off the shelves.

This sounds like a long-shot attempt by Nintendo to gain some traction with the 3DS before the PS Vita leaves their asshole in ruins. Will this finally get me to buy one? No. Hopefully the price will have dropped again by the time some actual games come out.

WTF COD

Here's video I uploaded awhile ago in a heated fit of rage, intent on ripping Black Ops a new one...then completely forgot about it. Oh well.



They really do need to fix hit detection though.

Mo' Space Marines

I AM WAR. Ahhh yes yes! My boner keeps pointing me in the direction of this game like a dowsing rod.

Humble Indie Bundle 3 is Out!

Get it while it's hot! Pay whatever you want and get five great indie games while supporting charity and indie developers. There is literally no way to lose here!

What are you waiting for, Christmas?

Video and Arcade Top 10

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who watched Video and Arcade Top 10 growing up, and those who aren't Canadian. Obviously we are the former. What kid didn't want to watch other kids playing SNES for sweet prizes while a variety of "hip" hosts prattled on incessantly like the Micro Machines man on speed.

The premise of the show was pretty simple. A bunch of kids would get up on stage and play whatever random game was assigned that day. You might get something cool like Super Metroid, or something awful like Aliens vs Predator for SNES. The winner would get a copy of the game (No matter how shitty) and the opportunity to pick a ball out of the trash can (More on that in a minute). The biggest problem with the show was that they never actually announced what the criteria were for winning the game. Was it highest score? Most progression? Most lives remaining? You never fucking knew.

On top of that, the hosts never interacted with the kids and never gave any progress reports so you had no idea who was even winning. What it boiled down to was the hosts rhyming off "tips" straight out of the instruction manual while they showed footage of kids desperately trying to complete some Machiavellian task in a game they'd never played before. Then the hosts would read some letters or talk about Laserdiscs for a while.

Anyway, back to the trash can. After a winner was arbitrarily chosen, they'd be asked to step over to the prize wall where they had to pick a ping pong ball marked with a number out of a trash can. The number on the ball would correspond with a prize on the wall such as a bike, a stereo, phone, Laserdiscs, etc. They would drop in the red "bonus ball" which would allow the kid to choose any prize he wanted. Only I never ever saw a kid pick out the bonus ball, in almost a decade of watching the show. I've always wondered if it was really just a cruel joke. Canadian TV, why did you have to change?

Gotham City Impostors

So here is the trailer for probably the funniest looking Batman game to date.

I've got to say this is the first super hero related game I've seen in a long time that actually looks interesting to me. I am kinda skeptical about it being a multiplayer first-person shooter though. If nothing else the premise of playing as blundering super hero/villain inspired wannabes is really appealing to me.

Aliens Infestation Coming to DS

It's true, this side-scrolling Contra-esque shooter is in the pipe, five by five.

Bastion Demo Impressions

So I guess the first 'Summer of Arcade' game officially dropped today on XBLA in the form of Bastion. What is Bastion? A pretty typical 3/4 top down action platformer with a great art style and some fun combat. Also a hilarious narrator who comments on everything you do.

I'll just say it, I was really pumped for this game. After seeing a few videos and reading early reviews I came away thoroughly impressed. I picked up a points card on my way home today with every intention of buying it. But first I decided to play through the trial just in case something didn't jibe with me, not that I was worried. Well I bet you can guess where this is going. Or can you.

Yep, you probably can. I didn't like Bastion. Now I know what you're probably saying. "Hur a dur you only like weird games and animes!" Well shut that smelly mouth of yours mister. I wanted to like Bastion. I tried so hard. I had every intention of buying it. I pedaled my bicycle to the mall and battled the troll at EB Games so I could obtain the points to purchase this game. But after playing the demo...bluh I dunno.

It's certainly not a bad game, it's just very...by the book? You play as a silent hero called The Kid who uses a variety of shooty and slashy weapons as well as some AoE attacks and powers to kill enemies and pick up gems and potions. Everything seems to take place on a series of floating platforms, that while nice to look at, don't exactly draw you in. The story (What I actually gathered of it anyway) seems very fragmented and forgettable. When there is any amount of stuff on screen the game stutters horribly.

Despite that the combat usually works quite well, with each weapon having it's own strengths and weaknesses. You have a shield to block and you can roll out of the way. The only problem is that the game likes to throw piles of guys at you, so blocking and rolling becomes really difficult and it devolves into button mashing.

The one really unique and memorable thing about Bastion is the narrator. From the very beginning he's always speaking, providing hints, story exposition and bits of humor. He even comments on the most mundane of your actions. He reminded me a lot of Sam Elliot in The Big Lebowski. Some people are bitching about the constant narration and how it gets old after a few hours, which I can understand. I don't care though, I really have to admire the developer's Andy Kaufman level of commitment to a joke that a lot of people probably didn't find that funny to begin with.


Even so, I still don't think it's enough to keep me playing. The rest just left me sort of bored. For 800 points I'd be willing to give it a chance (Like Wakfu), but for 1200 I think it might be spent better elsewhere. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got avatar pets to buy.

Catherine Demo Impressions

It may come as something of a shock to most of you guys, but I like bizarre games. If it's wacky, or funny, or just totally off the wall then my interest is usually piqued. It has to be a certain kind of earnest craziness though; utterly without pretensions. Which is why I gravitate toward Japanese games I guess. They seem to come by it honestly, unlike the forced humor and calculated whimsy found in many western video games today.

Even so, it's possible for a game to just be too out there even for me. It happens all the time. Seriously who fucking comes up with this shit? Anyway, Catherine was a game I had already written off based on previews that looked batshit insane. Just way too anime for my liking, and this is coming from a guy who has watched a lot of animes...

Well after playing through the demo I can honestly say that this game is batshit insane....batshit insane like a fox! Again I don't know much about the final product as this game had fallen completely off my radar, but at it's core the story seems very interesting. It's about a 32 year old guy whose long-time girlfriend wants him to take the plunge and get married. Like any sane man, he's obviously freaked the fuck out by this. He starts having horrible nightmares where he tries to escape his terrible fate. Then one night he meets a younger girl in a bar...and well I guess you can see where this is going. Or can you.

The actual gameplay in the demo is a block-sliding puzzle where you try to climb to the top of a tower before it crumbles or you get eaten. It's fun and addictive, with a learning curve that isn't very steep. The story definitely seems to be the star of the show here though. It's really sold by the voice acting, which has come a long way in recent years. I never thought I'd enjoy playing a video game where a guy sits in a bar talking to his friends about girl troubles.

Sending and receiving texts is also pretty neat. If you hit reply, instead of giving you a list of choices, it types out a typical reply based on the situation. Then if you hit delete, it deletes that line and you can choose a different response. Just like you would do if you weren't sure how to respond to someone in real life.

This game is so quirky and unusual that I can see a good chance it might tank. I also think it's anime style is working against it, as the people who would appreciate the story most are likely going to be turned off by it. The main character doesn't help as half the time he looks like he has downs syndrome and the other half he's making cartoony expressions. If you can look past that, there seems to be a lot going on here. I recommend at least giving the demo a try. Especially if you have a thing for sheep (Jaison..)

The Greatest Game Ever....NITRO FAMILY!

You can read all about this modern masterwork right here.

Nintondo Comix

Courtesy of Hejibits.

Minecraft Nations at War

Here's an awesome looking Minecraft....mod...thing.

I cannot fathom how long it even took just to build all that shit.

Game Fudge's 25 SNES Games

Hey guys, I know how much we all love lists. We've been working really hard on this one, and we apologize for the lack of updates lately. After much deliberation we finally agreed upon what should be included. So here it is, the one you've all been waiting for...The Mack-Daddy of them all. Without further ado and in no particular order it's time to announce...


Game Fudge's 25 SNES Games!!!

Super Punch-out
Primal Rage
Robotrek
Lethal Enforcers
Mega man X2
Art of Fighting
Wheel of Fortune Deluxe
Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster Busts Loose
Firepower 2000
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
King of the Monsters
Mario Paint
TMNT 4: Turtles in Time
Uniracers
Earthbound
Super Smash TV
The Lost Vikings
Donkey Kong Country 3
Super Star Wars Return of the Jedi
Joe & Mac 2: Lost in the Tropics
X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse
Sim Earth
Plok
Super Turrican
Micro Machines 2: Turbo Tournament

Well I think that about wraps it up. Sorry if any of your favorites didn't make the list. It was tough choosing just 25 from such a massive library, we would pick them all if we could!! Thanks for reading everyone, until next time!

Behind the Scenes with the Nerd

Requiem For a Boss Fight

I'm going to break my rule about ignoring everything IGN says this one time and talk about their article dismissing boss fights in video games as outdated. I mean, really? There is so much valid criticism to be heaped on games today and this is the best you can come up with?

They take time to single out Arkham Asylum and Uncharted 2 as cases against having bosses in video games. Yeah, those were indeed great games that had shitty boss fights. But it's not an issue with the concept, it's an issue with the execution. The boss fights in Batman were fucking stupid, boring and repetitive. But that game gets tons of praise based on all the things it did right. Maybe people should take a moment to call them out on what they did wrong, instead of just painting all games with the same brush.

The reason boss fights exist is because they are a climax. An exclamation point at the end of a level. Like in an action movie when the Terminator fights T-1000 or Rambo blows up a russian guy. Everything you've been fighting for has been a build up to this final moment. The article also points out Heavy Rain as a game that doesn't need boss fights. Really? Because I remember a lengthy quicktime segment where you duke it out with the origami killer. If you replace "Stale boss fight mechanics" with "Stale quick-time mechanics" then I guess they have a point.

Which brings me to another thing I can't stand. Most modern FPS games (Like Call of Duty) have all but replaced boss fights with lame, completely scripted quick-time events. I understand you can't have a 30 foot tall robot chasing players around the room, but they've gotten so fucking lazy that it's just sad. Sometimes if you're lucky a helicopter or something will show up at the end. Oh wow, this boss is a helicopter! How climactic! But then the game holds your hand so damn much that it takes away any challenge their might have been. "THERE'S A MISSILE LAUNCHER OVER THERE! BETTER SHOOT DOWN THE CHOPPER WITH IT! DID YOU GET THE LAUNCHER YET? YOU BETTER GRAB IT AND SHOOT IT AT THE HELICOPTER! PRESS A BUTTON TO GRAB THE LAUNCHER YOU TARD!"

I can agree that there have been too many games with lazy, frustrating or just plain shitty bosses. But you know what? There have been a lot of lazy, frustrating or shitty games in general. Maybe it would be better to say "If you're going to do a terrible job of something, don't bother doing it at all." I don't think we should throw the baby out with the bathwater just yet though.

For Jaison

He he he poop

Innovation is Where You Find It (Part 1)

Ok, so our editor informed me it's time to stop posting half-assed and do some real work (That's a joke, we don't have an editor. We don't do real work either). With this year's E3 being such a mixed bag (of shit) it's a great time to tackle this topic. Ready for some opinions? OH U KNOW IT!

Everyone seems to be bitching about the lack of innovation in big name titles these days. To me it's only natural. As games become bigger and bigger business, triple-A titles take more and more money to produce. They are too expensive, they can't fail. As with Hollywood blockbusters like Transformers and even Avatar, game publishers need to appeal to the lowest common denominator to ensure that they make tons of money.

Now I can hear you saying "Yeah but movies can be big budget and still turn out great, like Inception!" Well, games can too. And sometimes they do. However games (like movies) are increasingly being subjected to more executive meddling and the "Too many cooks in the kitchen" phenomenon. When you've got multiple writers, entire teams of artists, programmers, motion capture specialists and animators it becomes harder for everything to fit together cohesively. It's much more difficult to make running changes, and requires a very talented group of people to co-ordinate it all.

So with all this time and money involved, it makes sense that the people providing the cash aren't going to want to take any risks. Publishers are starting to figure out (As Hollywood has), anything with an established name attached to it is going to sell better. Even if it has nothing to do with the original (see: Prey 2). In many cases, a developer will take an established formula (Platformer, First-person shooter, etc.), add a new gimmick and call it a day. Maybe they'll get really creative and combine 2 genres (Borderlands, Fallout 3).

So does this mean the end of fresh IPs and true innovation in games? There's a subject worth debating. Which we will....So, uh stay tuned for Part 2 to find out!

Skullgirls Looks Awesome

I'm ready for another zany fighting game that doesn't have marvel or capcom in it. Skullgirls looks like a cross between Looney Tunes and some kind of anime. Now I shudder thinking that such a thing probably exists.