Monday, March 26, 2012

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Jaison Makes a Compelling Argument


Games I am looking forward to in 2012

Looking forward in 2012 at the start of the year was pretty depressing. Nothing but sequels and rehashes as far as the eye can see. Much of what's come out so far this year has been pretty mediocre, which makes it even harder to stay optimistic. Here's what I'll probably be playing this year.

Trials Evolution - One of the few games I am really pumped for. The original was excellent and the sequel looks even better.

Witcher 2 (On xbox) - Jaison warned me off the PC version because it was a buggy piece of shit, but the dark fantasy setting looks interesting enough that I still want to give it a try.

Diablo 3 - As I've said before, nothing about this game really turns my crank. But everyone else will be getting it, and I am always down for a co-op lootwhoring click-a-thon. Yaaay peer pressure.

Dragon's Dogma - It's like Monster Hunter meets Dark souls meets Dragon Age and I am totally cool with that. I think this game will be really fun and possibly hard as balls. Bring it!

Tera - Probably the first MMO I will play since FFXI. It looks anime as fuck, but the combat actually looks really fun so I think I can deal with it.

Borderlands 2 - Jaison and I will both be getting this and will play the shit out of it as we did Borderlands 1. This is non-negotiable.

Hawken - The trailers alone were enough to sell me on this game. Yeah I am shallow like that.

Aliens: Colonial Marines - I honestly don't expect this to be anything more than mediocre, but I just can't say no to Aliens.

Amnesia : A Machine for Pigs - I don't know anything about this game, but the first Amnesia was so good that I don't even care. Shut up, take my money, etc.

Counter-Strike Global Offensive - It's been many years since I've played Counterstrike, and I secretly hope that the new version it every bit as bullshit as I remember.

Skullgirls - I don't even know why I want this game but I do. Looks like the developers have put a ton of work into giving it a lot of personality so I feel like I should reward their efforts.

Torchlight 2 - I enjoyed the first one, but never ended up buying it. At this point I feel like I am better off just waiting for the sequel.

Bioshock Infinite - The thing that always annoyed me about these games is that you can't tell what is actual gameplay and what is just BS put together for an E3 demo. Regardless, I enjoyed the first two enough that I'm sure I'll like it.

Fez - It's an interesting 2D/3D platformer that's been in development what seems like fucking forever. I'm sure it won't live up to the hype but it looks good enough to spend my money on.

Fear and Loathing in Mushroom Kingdom

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Thursday, March 15, 2012

How I Lost My Job at the Robot Factory

God, I am such an idiot! My job was so simple. I had one responsibility, and I completely dropped the ball! All I had to do was Ask the robots questions, and destroy any that displayed human feelings and self-awareness. Whose idea even was it to program them to cry? How was that possibly a good idea?! Two years of community college, all for nothing. My wife's gonna kill me...

Monday, March 12, 2012

iPhone/Pad/Pod/Scrod Game Round-up

Since there haven't been many console games that interest me in the last couple months, the bulk of my time has been spent on iOS games. Here are a few that I've been playing lately and my feelings about them.

Canabalt - A cool looking running platformer with one-touch controls. There really isn't anything to it besides seeing how far you can run before falling to your death. Even so, it's still great fun.

8 Bit Rally - I love the old-school look of this game, and the controls work fairly well but it's just not that fun. The car you start with is such a giant piece of shit and you have to spend a long time grinding to get a better one.

Peggle - I never will understand the appeal of this game. It's like pinball for morons.

Kingdom Rush - It's tower defense. Yep. Also you can summon dudes and drop fireballs, which actually makes it a little more like a regular RTS and a lot more fun.

#Sworcery - This game looks amazing but it feels like a chore to play. It's obtuse and frustrating. I could tolerate that if the game wasn't so fucking smug about it all the time.

Velocispider - A nice looking sort of Space Invaders rip-off with tilt controls. This game is awesome.

Groove - It's like Rez meets Elite Beat Agents and it's the best rhythm game on the iOS. Some better songs would make it absolutely perfect.

Where's My Water? - A really creative physics based puzzle game. I actually enjoy it more than Cut the Rope, which is saying something.

Bike Baron - It's sort of like Joe Danger meets Trials. While it might not really be as good as either of those, it's still quite fun.

Ski on Neon - This game was free but still good. Some of the later levels get pretty bullshit, but for some reason I can't stop playing it. Once you get in the zone you just can't stop.

Sonic CD - This seems like a really well-done port of a game I never played. The platforming is probably some of the best in the series, but the levels don't do much for me. There's nothing here as cool as Chemical Plant or Casino Night zone.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Systems Back Online

Hello to everyone (anyone?) who still checks this blog! It looks like for the moment my issue is resolved, after a few months of alternately trying to fix it and sitting on my ass doing nothing. All it required was deleting a few entries from the hosts file hidden deep within the bowels of my windows folder. What the fuck it had to do with anything, I'll never know.

Computers, man. They're alot like women... Nobody understands how they work, and they have a cd-rom drive. Ok, maybe that isn't a good analogy. Anyway the important thing is that we're back and we've got a few months of incoherent video game related bullshit stored up. Jaison, fetch my blogging pants!